SuperMOOC, and the Full Crisis of Gender Power
This is a reply to some commentary that I've started lashing out in the SuperMOOC. If you don't know what the SuperMOOC is, then this is not addressed to you.
I'm going to ask you to hear me out because much of what I'm going to say will likely offend you.
The fact is, a man has more to fear from sexual assault than a woman. A woman can obtain support, guidance, grievance counseling, or whatever else it's called (I'm not sure the terms used for it). A woman may be blamed by members of society, but in the majority of cases the police will act on a complaint and will investigate. If they find someone they have evidence of being the culprit, they will prosecute. A culprit prosecuted has an extraordinarily high chance of conviction, thanks to the frightening nature of the Federal Rules of Evidence and the rules in many states regarding admissible evidence against an alleged sex offender.
A man who complains is no longer a man. Full stop. It doesn't matter the sex of the attacker, the man is no longer a man in society's eyes. If a man complains about a female attacker, and in some cases about a male attacker, is instructed to deal with his relationship problems on his own. If the report gets filed, chances are high there will be no action taken. There is no counseling, no guidance, and rarely support from friends or family, and the shark remains in the water to strike a second time.
Domestic abuse cases are, in the majority, cases of mutual abuse. In almost every case of mutual abuse, the woman is deemed to be "defending herself" against the man, regardless of context or actions taken. A woman struck is vindicated for physical assault she performs, a woman demeaned is vindicated for any hateful speech of her own.
Now, this is where it gets funny. Imagine a child of mutual abusers calls the cops. The cops come in, takes statements, goes about their investigation properly, and arrest the man and not the woman. The child then gets to live the rest of his childhood with the violent woman who he "tattled" on. As an adult, he's stalked by a woman and assaulted by her. The police fail to take action on his complaint. They later arrest him for sexual assault - the woman complained about him.
In pretrial, the prosecution's witness list includes the man's mother, and because of the nature of the rules of evidence she would be able to provide accusations on the behalf of women not in the jurisdiction that he sexually abused them, even though those were untried (and never even mentioned before then), and the only recourse would be to try to undermine her on cross. He could not bring evidence about prior sexual acts of the predator, because the judge ruled that to violate the Rape Shield.
I have no idea how the trial would've turned out - he killed himself. He wasn't a very close friend, but the end of his life was particularly alarming. And yes - that shark's still in the water.
In another thread, I said that both sides are underestimating the gender imbalance. This is one example, anecdotal admittedly. You ask what parent cares about their boy being the victim of a sexual predator - that is a frightening question to ask.
People frequently mention the "male gaze" - there are some of the more unfortunate exemplars of the lesbian community laughing at this. There are also a number of women who do, in fact, ask for this, in the same way that a number of men feel that way. When I mentioned some women wanting to be in the position of some of those sexualized superheroines, I was asked what power it provided. Who said they wanted power?
And if being oversexualized and powerless is a terrible thing, and there are women who want to be in that position, has society maimed them? And what do we say of the men who "would be flattered" to be the victim of "female gaze"? Is it okay for them?
Women are victims of our society, and they are in recovery, their condition slowly being mended. Men are also victims of our society, and they are not in recovery. Their position is unchanged. Which is the disempowered victim? Need there be only one?
I'm going to ask you to hear me out because much of what I'm going to say will likely offend you.
The fact is, a man has more to fear from sexual assault than a woman. A woman can obtain support, guidance, grievance counseling, or whatever else it's called (I'm not sure the terms used for it). A woman may be blamed by members of society, but in the majority of cases the police will act on a complaint and will investigate. If they find someone they have evidence of being the culprit, they will prosecute. A culprit prosecuted has an extraordinarily high chance of conviction, thanks to the frightening nature of the Federal Rules of Evidence and the rules in many states regarding admissible evidence against an alleged sex offender.
A man who complains is no longer a man. Full stop. It doesn't matter the sex of the attacker, the man is no longer a man in society's eyes. If a man complains about a female attacker, and in some cases about a male attacker, is instructed to deal with his relationship problems on his own. If the report gets filed, chances are high there will be no action taken. There is no counseling, no guidance, and rarely support from friends or family, and the shark remains in the water to strike a second time.
Domestic abuse cases are, in the majority, cases of mutual abuse. In almost every case of mutual abuse, the woman is deemed to be "defending herself" against the man, regardless of context or actions taken. A woman struck is vindicated for physical assault she performs, a woman demeaned is vindicated for any hateful speech of her own.
Now, this is where it gets funny. Imagine a child of mutual abusers calls the cops. The cops come in, takes statements, goes about their investigation properly, and arrest the man and not the woman. The child then gets to live the rest of his childhood with the violent woman who he "tattled" on. As an adult, he's stalked by a woman and assaulted by her. The police fail to take action on his complaint. They later arrest him for sexual assault - the woman complained about him.
In pretrial, the prosecution's witness list includes the man's mother, and because of the nature of the rules of evidence she would be able to provide accusations on the behalf of women not in the jurisdiction that he sexually abused them, even though those were untried (and never even mentioned before then), and the only recourse would be to try to undermine her on cross. He could not bring evidence about prior sexual acts of the predator, because the judge ruled that to violate the Rape Shield.
I have no idea how the trial would've turned out - he killed himself. He wasn't a very close friend, but the end of his life was particularly alarming. And yes - that shark's still in the water.
In another thread, I said that both sides are underestimating the gender imbalance. This is one example, anecdotal admittedly. You ask what parent cares about their boy being the victim of a sexual predator - that is a frightening question to ask.
People frequently mention the "male gaze" - there are some of the more unfortunate exemplars of the lesbian community laughing at this. There are also a number of women who do, in fact, ask for this, in the same way that a number of men feel that way. When I mentioned some women wanting to be in the position of some of those sexualized superheroines, I was asked what power it provided. Who said they wanted power?
And if being oversexualized and powerless is a terrible thing, and there are women who want to be in that position, has society maimed them? And what do we say of the men who "would be flattered" to be the victim of "female gaze"? Is it okay for them?
Women are victims of our society, and they are in recovery, their condition slowly being mended. Men are also victims of our society, and they are not in recovery. Their position is unchanged. Which is the disempowered victim? Need there be only one?
posted by Pneumonica at 4/25/2013 03:55:00 PM
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